Only If You’re Called
Since as far back as I remember, I’ve seen the world differently than most of the people that I’ve met. The material world was interesting, but it wasn’t the drive of my soul. No, I was more stirred by the unexplainable phenomena of the world, or rather, the energy that seemed to put everything into motion.
It was at age seven that I saw my first apparition. It came in the form of a ghost raptor that entered my bedroom from the east wall, stared down at me to connect with a part of my spiritual nature, and then glided through the west wall. The whole encounter lasted only a few moments, but the memory is permanently etched in my mind. Before and after that experience, I tried to live the mainstream life, as was expected of me, but it was like putting a round peg in a square hole. Nothing really fit. I was awkward in the 3D world. To me, it as all an illusion and I knew there was a deeper and timeless reality that was calling me.
At age fifteen, I was gifted my first Rider-Waite Tarot deck by my older sister. Without any instruction from her, I dove into the realm of the occult. It wasn’t long after my Catholic rite of Confirmation that I began this mystical journey. There may have been a path to learn deeper and unconventional knowledge about the life of Christ through the church, but it wasn’t something that would be shown to me as a teenager. In its stead, I began to build my collection. Numerology, astrology, crystals, Runes, sacred geometry, and energy spells to name a few. They all taught me about subtle energy and how it was interwoven into the fabric of the material world. Little by little I began to understand the mysteries of the world. But aside from a few other friends like me who existed outside the bell curve of the population, I was essentially alone in my journey.
Though I read a few books of spiritual philosophy and such, I mainly learned how the world worked via the school of ‘trial and error.’ Yes, every once in a while I would find someone new of similar mind and there would be an exchange of thoughts and ideas, but there was nothing really formal in the subjects of my studies. Over the dozens of years, I more or less formulated how the universe worked, but had no notion that there was a community of people like me.
It was in my fifth decade of this lifetime that a co-worker illumed me. I knew he was in the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry. I had only heard of ‘the Masons’ from urban legend and how they apparently run everything in some secret society. But we always had inspiring conversations, so I asked him if there was a group that he knew of that inclusive of both men and women that I could seek out. He said that I should look into the initiatic order of the Rosicrucians. He was sure that it was the right fit for me. The next day he brought in a publication and handed it to me. It was a periodical called the Rosicrucian Digest.
I read it from cover to cover. With each paragraph, I was astounded at what I was reading! If there was something I wish I knew about when I was young, this would have been it. Everything they talked about expanded on what I uncovered in my past through self-discovery. I continued onto the website and got more information, and the curriculum presented there had everything that I wanted to learn more about. I quickly signed up to begin my studies. It wasn’t long before I realized that the most profound thing about doing this coursework was how it lined up with everything that I did independently throughout my life. It would be equivalent to learning how to build a house by figuring each piece on my own… the foundation, the masonry and drywalling, roofing, plumbing and electricity, etc., and then realize that there are schools that teach all the trades to do the same, but in a much more organized fashion!
My feeling today is that every mystic in the world should know about the Rosicrucian Order, but only those who are called will truly enter into the atrium of learning. I’ve learned that through patience, tenacity and persistence, a deepening of my connection to the sublime and psychic world has expanded to a level I haven’t been able to achieve on my own.
Take a look. Maybe this is what you’ve been looking for. When I saw it and spent some minutes on the website, I knew without any doubt that it was my path. Who knows, maybe it’s yours as well.
May your heart find peace, and may it be profound!
Namasté,
K A Gonzalez
